LittleMissUnknown ..

I’m screaming for someone to talk to, but I fear no one will understand. 

       

        Today is supposed to be our 2 month anniversary, I made a special video for you but too bad you’re not even on for me to show it to you. You’re brother Jonah told me you fell asleep, but I don’t know if that could’ve been you saying that. Something else happened the other day and I’m not sure what. I read your facebook status and from what I saw, your sister and friends have been talking behind your back. “The moment of utter heartbreak.” was a part of that status. Why can I not help but think that I’ve done something, and yet, I can’t even think of anything I did to hurt you. Or maybe is it your ex girlfriend that you can’t seem to forget about? You told me she was the breaking point in your life, that she’s the one that messed things up for you. If thats the case, why can’t you forget about her? Take her out of your life so that she can’t bother you again? WHY. You had some sort of fight with her recently, I can’t help but think when your upset it’s because of her or that you’ll start cutting yourself again. I always come home and go straight to the computer because I miss you and I want to talk to you again. 

“Love.”

All thoughts of her came rushing back. She did something so that I could no longer speak to her. Texting her now seemed stupid. It was like it was too late, and I couldn’t fix anything anymore.

       That’s a part of your tumblr post from yesterday.. Is that me?  Did I do something to you? If I did, I’d really like to know so I can fix it. I’m too scared to ask you, you might get upset again, and run away from your problems like you always do. TELL ME WHAT IT IS THAT I DID IF IT REALLY IS ME. 

       Yesterday, I know you were having a mental/physical break down.. I WANTED TO HELP. I know I replied late when you told me that, you didn’t reply to my first text when I asked you what was wrong, so I didn’t bother checking my phone anymore. I even told you I was sorry for doing so. I know, you’re hurting inside. I want to be there for you, but the distance between us is an obstacle we unfortunately have to face. You were so frustrated by everything, and it led you to thinking that you had to break up with me. I tried to console you, calm you down because I know you didn’t want that, and neither did I. As I speak, we are still together, but I’m always paranoid that you’re going to hurt again, and try to break up because you don’t want your problems to end up hurting me either. I’m telling you now, it’ll only hurt me more if you left. 

       I question, whether you actually “love” me anymore. I never thought that I could end up getting so attached to someone who I’ve only known for a while and who lives 1255 miles away, but I am. I know that I’ll probably get hurt in the long run, but you’re worth it. You must be pretty special to me if I want you this badly. Usually with these things I have no problem letting go, but for you I’ll try to hang on to whatever we have for as long as I can..

       You think that no one cares for you, that no one would give a damn if you were gone. Well let me tell you something, I CARE. I care so much that I could die from it. You’re always on my mind; from the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to sleep. You appear in my dreams too. I think about you so much that today my friends could even tell something was on my mind. They were questioning me, and telling me I was spacing out during lunch. I worry, worry, and worry about you  every single day. Wondering if you’re doing okay or not.

        You’ve made me cry before, you broke up with me once before. It was because you didn’t want me to know something. You were afraid I wouldn’t be able to take it and that I’d end up leaving you because of it. You thought people would pity me for having someone like you. You blocked me, you erased me and you tried to hide from me. Not until I got help from a special friend that got you talking to me again, you finally told me what’s been going on. I wasn’t surprised at all, I accepted you for who you were, and you were happy to hear that. So, we got back together. I still continue to accept you for who you are and have fallen in love with who you are. I feel that I need to cry a river that could fill every part of this earth right now. I wish you’d talk to me like before so that we’d figure out what’s wrong. I know I don’t have things as bad as you.. but it doesn’t mean I can’t break down and cry about the things that make me sad.

        You don’t even know how important you are to me, and although I keep hurting, I continue to deny the fact that maybe, just maybe, this thing won’t work out. I want to keep trying, to keep this relationship going, because you make me happy. If I could ease just any bit of pain you have, that would make my day because I know I did something that could keep you one step away from harming yourself. I won’t ever tell you that you keep hurting me bit by bit, because that’s the reason you wanted to break up with me yesterday.

          I must admit, it’s been harder to concentrate on school because all I ever think about is you. But then again, whenever I’m stressed, you’re what relieves my pain. If you ever leave.. I’m scared I’ll do something stupid, because if I don’t have you, I don’t have anything to relieve my stress, anger, frustration, or sadness and I wont have anything that gives me joy anymore. I might cut myself , or maybe I might go do drugs just to get people angry at me so I can hurt even more. 

       All I can say now is that I hope you stay strong, and not let others get to you. I want to be the one that takes your pain away.  I SWEAR, if we last long enough, I’ll travel to L.A for you and when I see you, I’ll hug you and never let you go.

        Sincerely, you’re girlfriend. 

Forget him

Forget his name, forget his face

Forget his hugs, his warm embrace

Forget the love you once knew

Remember he has someone new

Forget him when they played your song

Remember when you cried all night long

Forget how close you two once were

Remember he has chosen her

Forget you memorized his walk

Forget the way he used to talk

Forget the things he used to say

Remember he has gone away

Forget his laugh forget his grin

Forget the dimples on his chin

Forget the way he held you tight

Remember he’s with her tonight

Forget the time that went so fast

Forget the love that’s moves it’s past

Forget he said he’d leave you never 

Remember he is gone forever..

I’m choosing to move on now because I don’t think I can hold onto him any longer, but I just want to say a couple of things about you and my best friend whom I very much care for. 

Your not his first, his last, or his only. He’s loved before and he’ll love again but if he loves you now, what else matters? He’s not   P e r f e c t, and neither are YOU and the two of you never will be Perfect. But if he makes you to laugh at least once, causes you to Think Twice and admits he’s being human, and makes  M I S T A K E S  … Hold onto him, and give him ALL you’ve got. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he isn’t gonna think about you EVERY moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you can break. DON’T HURT HIM, don’t change him, don’t expect too much from him. Smile, when he makes you happy, and MISS HIM when he’s not there. Treat him well, like I never could because I didn’t get the chance, TAKE CARE of him because he’s one of a kind, and NEVER take him for granted. I hope you guys turn out well, all I can say is Goodbye for now .

I tell him that my sketchbook is very precious and important to me and then he just goes and takes it and starts banging it on the table! I freak out on him, and now he said that i didn’t need to spaz and so he walks away being annoyed with me! How could i not spaz when my sketchbook is like my BABY?? T-T

heartsbetween:

dayumsophia:

This is the Chains of Love at Seoul’s Namsan Tower. It’s considered the Safest Wall in Korea (:

By locking a pair of padlocks to this fence and throwing the keys down the river, couples show their love for each other.

someday, i’ll go here with a boy.

ahh~ 

One day I shall go there too :)

 Awwwe i will go there someday in the futuree :] ( with my bestfriend sonya in which we shall travel to korea together! :D )

(Source: sophiuhh, via heartnoodle)

Hey, I know you won’t be able to see this right now but, I miss you a lot. Why did you have to go to that other school? You are indeed a bestfriend I can never replace. Tarotard, we barely talk anymore and I hear people say that you’ve changed in a bad way but i don’t believe it because to me you’re the same bestfriend I had a year ago. You know what I wonder the most though? I wonder if you’ve ever missed me. Do you ever think to yourself, “When will I see Rachiitard again”?. You don’t ever come to visit on the days I can stay afterschool. When you left Frank Hurt Secondary, the first thing I thought to myself is,”How am I going to live without you by my side? I need my BESTFRIEND!” I’ve got to go to sleep now, I guess I’ll have to finish this some other day. I could write a million pages on how I miss you but right now I can’t. GoodNight, I miss you .

I know that we broke up five months ago and that is the way it will stay. I have recently noticed how close you are with my sister, and you know what? It kind of bugs me, actually. To see how close you are with me sister is kind of a kill joy. How come we were never this close? We always had an ignoring problem with eachother. You’ve changed, I noticed that too. It is suprising what one year in highschool can do to you. I’m not saying that I myself haven’t changed, because I have. Before you were a straight “A” student and an innocent boy, but now you drink, you party, you.. have become a hardcore nammer. To be honest, before I didn’t even know you existed and I barely knew who you were, but I liked you anyways. Something about you attracted me. I could see you for who you were. Now,you repel me. I don’t know you at all, like the old you had been erased from my mind. You call and text my sister a lot and it seems to annoy me. I’m a lot like my aunt when it comes to relationships, I can never keep them, and when they fly away, I never want them to return and I don’t want them to exist in my life anymore. You are transferring to another school soon, and that kind of relieves me, but it doesn’t mean that I will forget you. My memory is good and you were my first serious boyfriend. I know that you will still text and call my sister anyway but, I hope you find someone else where you’re going and I hope you forget me. If only, you had never existed in my life, then I wouldn’t have to go through this stage of never wanting anything to do with you.